Aquaman is lame! Or so I’ve been told for the last couple of decades. When pressed for a reason, I am often given surface answers- “He wears an orange shirt”, or “He talks to fish”. If that’s the depth of your complaint, your argument is pretty shallow (Whew, that’s a lot of water puns for an opening paragraph).
I have done writing for marketing, and I can tell you that Aquaman challenges the old axiom, “Any publicity is good publicity”. If that holds true than he is an icon for the ages. Late show hosts Craig Fergusson and Jimmy Kimmel, cartoons like Sponge Bob Squarepants, and the HBO series Entourage have gotten tons of mileage out of mocking the King of the Seven Seas. Countering them has been a slew of recent “positive” portrayals on Smallville, a pilot film, Justice League (Unlimited), and Batman: The Brave and the Bold. When I was growing up Aquaman was everywhere from lunchboxes to Megos, and from his own show to the Super Friends. Michael Phelps was even dubbed “Aquaman” after his Olympic gold medal wins. So why has Aquaman, of all characters, achieved equal parts stardom and scorn?
It could be because Aquaman is a character defined by a perception of what he can’t do, rather than what he can. Superman flies, The Flash runs fast, Spider-Man spins webs…Aquaman can’t go on land. This is, of course, false. He can get along just fine on the surface. But, take someone like the oh so cool Wolverine, and drop him in the middle of an ocean trench- and he’s toast (there is no way someone can tell me a healing factor would do jack squat against drowning). Now, there was a time (nearly 20 years ago) that Aquaman needed water every hour. But, this was treated as a “ticking time bomb” element, designed to give his stories a level of suspense. Can Aquaman beat the badguy before time runs out? In this way he was no different than Hourman, the early Iron Man (who had to constantly recharge his chest plate or suffer a heart attack), the first incarnation of the Hulk who would revert to normal when the sun came up, or Green Lantern’s ring constantly running out of juice everyday.
It could be because Aquaman is a character whose two most memorable stories stem from failure. Long before Red Arrow, Aquaman lost both his child, and his hand (it’s ironic that both Aquaman and Roy Harper were created by the same writer, and both made their debut in More Fun Comics #73 in 1941).
It could be because Aquaman is always Aquaman. There is constant debate among comic fans over the true natures of Batman and Superman. Is The Batman his real personality, and it’s Bruce Wayne that’s the mask? Is Superman better served by being the Last Son of Krypton, or a simple Kansas farm boy? Aquaman has no such dual identity. Perhaps he lacks the story advantages afforded those with alter egos.
It could be anyone of these things. But, sadly it really is just…”He wears an orange shirt”, and “He talks to fish”.
Next time, I will explore why I like that orange shirt, and just what talking to fish really means.
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